Put down your pitchforks disciples of Big Spam, the prodigal son is back from vacay... but don't expect much.
First of all, I can’t understand any of my Big Spam topic ideas I wrote before my trip back home to Iceland. I mean just look at some of them:
- Erotic bread
- Weird t-shirt ads
- Do I wanna become the Pope?
- Guy with a fork in my YouTube video
What the hell am I supposed to do with this past-Már?!
Also, one just says “GOATS”... there’s not enough coffee in the world to help me unpack that one on a Monday morning.
And that brings me nicely to my second point: I’m lazy.
I’ll therefore go for the cheap option of writing something related to Iceland. Here’s a random top 3 list of tech-ish highlights from my holidays. Enjoy...?
1. Swimming pools are even more awesome
The thing I always miss the most about Iceland is the swimming pools. Seriously, they’re awesome.
Instead of the over-chlorinated, dirty cesspools you people on the mainland swim in, Iceland’s local pools are full of beautiful geothermally-heated water and kept clean with a strict etiquette.
And in recent years, almost every single pool has been updated with the technological marvel of our age: spinning-thingy that dries your swimsuit.
You beautiful bastard
That means no more moist gym bags or annoyingly wet changing rooms.
My favorite pool back home currently sports the Suitmate 115V Swimsuit Water Extractor — and I’m in love with it.
2. Iceland’s self-checkout machines suck
Unfortunately, the brilliance of Iceland’s pools is undone by its supermarkets.
Instead of a register where you simply scan your products, chuck them in your bag, and pay, Iceland decided to add a snitching scale.
You’re forced to put every single item you've scanned down on the scale next to you, which then tallies up the weight to make sure you’ve done everything correctly.
If you dare to lift one of those items from the scale the whole process stops while a passive-aggressive robot voice scolds you until you comply.
Ugh, stop weighing my shit and just accept that I might steal the occasional orange.
3. Iceland’s most rad rap video
I didn’t just go to pools and supermarkets on my vacation. I also partied.
I attended a wedding in my girlfriend’s family up in the north where the Icelandic rap group Úlfur Úlfur (Cry Wolf) played a set, which happens to be led by my girlfriend’s cousin’s husband’s friend. Oh, and he’s also married to a famous Icelandic actress, whose brother is a friend of my friend from high school. And that brother starred in a short film I made 9 years ago. And we’re all probably related…
Anyway, they played all their biggest hits, including Brennum allt (Let’s burn it all) which is my all-time favorite Icelandic rap music video on YouTube.
Why? Because it has everything.
Dude riding an Icelandic pony through Reykjavík’s “hood”? Check.
Dog show? Check.
Another dude rolling down the street in a convertible with three big-ass St. Bernards? Check, check, and check.
Too bad Snoop Dogg doesn’t like it.
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